I always wanted to be a mom, but I never planned on being a single parent. I had dreams of rearing a bunch of kids with the man of my dreams. I never prepared myself for the possibility that this would not be my life. I was devastated at first when this became my reality.
I remember feeling like the world was coming to an end. I could not imagine how I was going to provide for my beautiful boy on my own. Truthfully, I was really angry. I had not signed up for single parenthood. I signed up to have help! So, I wallowed in self pity for about a week before I realized that I better get up and do something. If not, it was not going to be a good situation.
So I decided to take it one day at a time. Sometimes, one hour at a time. I started with changing my hair! I had always had really long hair and decided to chop it off. It was the best decision I think I have ever made! I cut it off to a little below the chin with the cute stack in the back. I felt like a new person.
Next, I decided to put together a schedule for my son and me. I enlisted Noah’s help and we made awesome Morning Routine and Evening Routine charts. It helped to have something to check off as accomplished for the day. Noah really liked having the visual. I think it helped him feel more stable.
Then, I decided that I would begin each day and end each day by making a mental list of all the things I had to be grateful for. At first, it was difficult to think of any because I was so focused on everything that was wrong in my life. After a week or so though, I realized that I didn’t have enough time each day to make a complete list of all the things I had to be grateful for. The funny thing is that what I had to be grateful for had not changed, but my outlook had.
It has been a long journey, but I can say that it has been worth every step to see the happiness in my child’s eyes. There are days when I still feel overwhelmed, don’t get me wrong. But, most days I am overjoyed at the progress we have made. I love my son more than anything and he is worth all the struggles that come my way.
